No To Bullying!
A recent investigation admitted that the suicide of a 14-year-old boy in the central part of Japan was influenced by a collection of bullying cases, precisely 34 cases, about a month and a half ago leading up to his death. One of the cases even includes the following: “his classmates made him kneel down on a bathroom floor.” (The Manichi, 2019)
On another note, teachers also have faced bullying. Below I have shared data from “blackboardtalk.com” as is to present to you an insight on how much bullying they face.
“Here are some facts about bullying among teachers:
Nurses, social workers, and teachers are the most likely to bully at work.
Between 24-46% of teachers admit to having been seriously bullied at one time.
89% of teachers admit to having seen staff bullying occur at their schools.
Top-down bullying from management is most common (67-75% of the time).”
— (Blackboardtalk.com, 2018)
Not only do teachers face bullying from staff, but also students and parents. Students, for example, can bully teachers by name-calling them, spreading rumors about them, bad-mouthing them, etc. Meanwhile parents especially “helicopter parents”, those who are overly protective of their children, sometimes cross the line and end up bullying teachers this includes: tearing down their reputation, threatening to do everything to remove them from their jobs, forcing them to change grades, etc. (Riggio, 2017)
To understand bullying being encountered by teachers and students, this blog aims to see what it is, why it happens, and how it can be lessened (whilst exemplifying the discussion using Lebanese schools).
What is bullying?
According to the American governmental organization called “stopbullying”, bullying is “unwanted, aggressive behavior” that is “ is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time.” and which in the long term can potentially damage individuals.
They state that bullying occurs when aggressive behavior includes:
An imbalance of power (such as physical strength, carrying embarrassing information about them, or popularity) which allows the bullier to command or harm others.
Repetition: Bullying that happens more than once and for the long term.
Furthermore, they discuss the type of bullying students face which can also be related to teacher bullying as well, this includes:
Verbal Bullying (such as name-calling, teasing, threating, etc.)
Social bullying (such as spreading false rumors, embarrassing someone in front of everyone, etc.) which can tear down someone’s reputation or relationship.
Physical bullying (such as hitting, spitting, tripping, etc.)
Examples from Lebanon (from my recollections):
Bullying on Students:
Bullying was something I observed daily in schools among students. Victims were several, they include almost everyone I knew even myself. What was clear is that the reason why people bullied is that they wanted to be popular or maintain popularity, another way to put it is that they wanted to be cool or show that they’re strong. During the last years of high school, I was faced with the bullying of many sorts and from many people. (1) The most significant and repeated one was poking fun at my name. To be fair it is longer than most usual Lebanese names and surnames but if you’d tell my European colleagues I met during my studies and volunteer work abroad about this, they’d laugh at how short it is (i recall one of my friends have around 20 words in his name). (2) Other distinctive recollections I have witnessed from a distance is a large scale bullying struck upon a student who is gay, which I’ll refer to as “X” (not sure if they were open or not about it but it was quite obvious they were). The large number of students who flocked around X was unforgettable, around 15 people easily. They all had one purpose which was to make fun of X, immensely. I recall looking at my friend and curiously suggesting why’d they care and what’s the point. I mean X had some Uggs on that day but they weren’t harming anyone, X was just minding their own business. Just for the sake of updating on what happened to X, what I’m sure is that X isn’t in Lebanon anymore, they’re somewhere far away, far from any LGBT bullying, that’s for sure, somewhere which is more inclusive towards X. (3) Another unique bullying case I witnessed was the bullying of a girl because she was good looking, I don’t know how that would cause bullying - Lebanon’s got its way I guess. What’s funny is that the one who led the flocks of bullies ended up dating the girl, although I think they’re not together anymore. These are some of the bullying stories I faced and witnessed in my school, again most are simply uncalled for and still make me wonder why they happened. I guess immaturity and silliness overtake us sometimes. What is certain is that those who bullied were just a few but they stayed on that role for a long time. They did have flocks of sidemen assisting but I mean they were just sideman, nothing too special, just doing second-hand work. I still have more stories but I’ll stop here since if I keep listing them then I’ll have to write a book.
Bullying on Teachers:
Even before we start listing, I’m sure many readers already know the amount of bullying teachers face daily in Lebanese schools. Protective parents, rude students, and authoritative administration members make teachers life a living hell. (1) I recall the endless name callings, insults, tripping, shouting, etc. students do to teachers. The sad part is, students expect teachers to accept it as if its part of their job resume. (2) Also, let’s not forget the protective parents, who blamed anyone except their children. Broke the desks - schools fault, tripped the teacher - teacher’s fault, copied during an exam - both teacher and schools fault. (3) Finally, authoritative administrative staff sometimes place a heavy weight on teachers. Pressure on high ranking administrative members sometimes intentionally and unintentionally abuse and harm teachers. They shrink their size, demoralize them, threaten them, verbally abuse them, etc. all for the sake of ensuring and achieving excellence for their school. While maintaining school excellence is great to hear, sometimes it’s too much on the teacher, at the end of the day she’s doing her best and completing all her tasks. She faces bullying in the classroom and by parents, so she’s not too keen on facing bullying by her staff or board members as well. I’ve seen pressure as the most common reason why bullying occurs among staff, one gets pressured and then releases its effect on others.
Before ending this part of the blog, I’d like to point out that not everyone is a bully and not everyone intentionally means to be one. Bullying happens for different reasons which we will discuss in the next part.
Why do people bully ?
To explain why people bully, I decided to refer to “healthdirect”, an Australian governmental organization. According to them, bullying occurs for several reasons, mainly:
domination and seeking to improve social status.
having low self-esteem (which means someone who has a lack of confidence and who thinks poorly of themselves).
lack of guilt or unawareness of their behavior.
feeling angry and frustrated.
struggling socially
being the victim of bullying themselves
They add that bulliers think of themselves as strong and powerful. Others see themselves as popular but are thoughtless rather than intentionally hurtful. Some bulliers have issues such as depression, abuse, or feel emotionally neglected. Some enjoy conflict and like getting everything their way. A good way “healthdirect” puts it is that “Those who are bullied in one situation may be the bully in another”.
Examples from Lebanon (from my recollections):
I already discussed in a few sentences why students bully in Lebanon in the previous section. From what I’ve seen. The most common reason why someone bullies in Lebanon is that they wanna be socially on top and stay there. Sometimes it’s a power-oriented approach towards attaining that height, other times it’s a behavioral type of approach. (1) In my opinion, the sadder one is the power-oriented one, since that bully would seek popularity and authority through instilling fear on others. Some students end up being their sidemen, while others become witnesses. Both flock behind the power-oriented bully since they worry that they will become the victim themselves one day, so that’s why they make sure that they never disappoint them any day. (2) A behavioral type of bully (I’m no psychologist or sociologist but I’m terming everything according to what it closely relates to in my opinion) seeks to bully others not through instilling fear on others because they like it rather they carry out acts only when their social status is in jeopardy. A behavioral type of bully cannot bully a power-oriented one rather they follow them closely and agree to whatever they say. A behavioral type of bully seeks love from everyone “loser or not” yet they turn their backs on others in seconds if they feel that their reputation is diminishing. I’ve seen popular students get rid of their true friends in seconds just to ensure the continuity of their reputation. They tease their close friends in front of larger groups, join the crowd when others are making fun of them, and agree to the bullying a power-oriented bully is doing to their close friends. A person who helps in bullying is as big of a bully as the one carrying it out.
In Lebanon, a student bullies a teacher since, as mentioned prior, to ensure popularity among his classmates. So the reasoning behind students bullying teachers is closely related to the previous paragraph (so no need to repeat why). To discuss why parents bully teachers, well its plain simple, it’s because Lebanese parents are very protective of their children. So whatever teacher says or does even if right, it is impossible that their children are the blame. They will name call, threaten, and hurt teachers all to ensure that nothing happens to their children. Finally, owners or high ranking administrative members bully the teachers because of pressure. I’ve mentioned this above: in Lebanon, pressure is 90% of the reason why teachers get bullied by staff. Pressure moves everywhere and affects everyone. Pressure on defeat, on profit loss, on getting a bad reputation all create influence but the one who ends up getting affected the most by it is the teacher. Since she is considered as the front line and image of the school. So if anything is affecting the school negatively, in their opinion, the teacher is first to blame.
What can you do to stop bullying ?
There are several common practices used to prevent bullying, according to “stopbullying” some of these include:
Help kids understand bullying: Try to open discussions about what bullying is, why it is not encouraged, and how to prevent it from happening.
Keep the lines of communication open: Know about your students this includes knowing who their friends are, what’s happening to them, and what issues they are facing in and outside of school.
Encourage kids to do what they love: activities, hobbies, etc. help kids make friends that help them minimize the probability of getting bullied.
Model how to treat others: show them what kindness and respect means and does.
Meanwhile, teachers can:
Re-evaluate their classroom management: explain why bullying is bad for anyone, don’t show favoritism, don’t confront bullying students in the class - talk to them after class or outside, etc. (Vrouvas, 2018).
Create a code of conduct in the school’s policy this includes zero-tolerance policy and a clear guideline on what is not acceptable to do (Ketchell, 2019).
Some teachers called for strong measures such as the ability to expel students or ban parents from seeing them (Ketchell, 2019).
Document every incident of bullying occurring: writing down these incidents helps recollect a detailed image of what happened that way you have a hidden weapon which can be used against those who bully you (Sacawa, 2018)
Contact your union to protect you (Sacawa, 2018)
Stay strong and healthy: put your physical and psychological health in top priority. Exercise, eat healthy, meditate, and do all needed activities that ensure your well-being (Sacawa, 2018).
Examples from Lebanon (from my recollections):
Lebanon has a weakness when it comes to preventing bullying from happening. I feel as though there is a lack of encouraging students to be themselves. Everything placed in Lebanese schools is there to levitate the school’s reputation rather than the students’ happiness. (1) One of the main reasons why students get bullied in Lebanon is the lack of a mediator that brings people together. I’ve seen efforts being placed by students to try to find where they belong. Sometimes not being aware that the group they’re in might not be right for them or that it is more harmful than helpful to them. (2) Furthermore, a line of open communication between students and teachers is not found. Teachers mainly go to give out lessons and students go just to attend the classroom. Whatever happens outside the classroom walls is no one’s concern. (3) Also, discussion about what bullying is and how to stop it is never found. Most schools focus on spiritual talks, sex ed classes, etc. and never open a “Bullying Prevention” class. I do not wish to be this direct however when something important is not being discussed than its major concern. (4) Many schools claim that they try to encourage students to be kind and polite but they never have discussions on why it’s important and what’s the positive lasting impact it might create unto others.
Teacher bullying in Lebanon is quite apparent also. (1) Like mentioned by others to lessen bullying one should note down all incidents happening to them, that way they have a list of reasons why this student should be held accountable. (2) Furthermore, rather than shouting at them during class, teachers should talk to them aside or after class. I feel like students feed off teacher torment and take it as a popularity boost when being screamed at during class. (3) Be strict but loved (a somewhat Machiavellian approach): the teachers who have the most control over the students are the ones who can create a balance between love and authority. They can be the funniest and nicest teachers but they also show students when they can’t cross the line. When such a method is used bullying on teachers by students is minimized tremendously because fear is instilled unto students who act out of the borders placed unto them. (4) In regards to bullying being done on teachers because of pressure on staff members. The best thing to do is to communicate and understand what is happening. In this age group, bullying because of immaturity is not that present. The main reason why teachers would get bullied by staff members is because of pressure for excellency, ensuring that the school is and remains the best in the region. However as much as that is important, the teacher’s well-being is the bigger priority since as long as they feel healthy, students will get the best out of them. When facing bullying teachers must talk to staff and state why they shouldn’t be blamed especially since they’re not at fault. They should list down and keep track of their positive work so that by year’s end they can share what they’ve done with their colleagues and board members. As long as teachers are open and honest then I’m certain bullying by staff members and others will lessen.
Bullying is a negative behavior no one should ever face. It initially tears down a person and later on creates long terms issues. Unfortunately, in Lebanon, unlike other countries, bullying is and was never tamed. Every day, more and more stories come up about how some child got bullied or how some teacher was hurt and wept alone in their office. It seems as though schools are more concerned with excellency and not on important acts and policies which promote happiness. Throughout this blog, I have presented different cases on bullying on both teachers and students witnessed in my life and I’m sure you can add more to this as well. The only way bullying can be lessened is through schools themselves. In the case of teachers, schools should be more aware of what is causing the problem rather than attacking teachers directly because of the escalated pressure. Meanwhile, teachers should be more open about what are the problems they are facing daily in school whilst keeping a record of them. Not only write down the problems but also write down the achievements and positiveness they are creating in the school. Such a method helps in being transparent and honest about what is happening to them that way they can be treated in a more justly manner. In the case of students, schools should establish not only policies but also develop an environment that embraces inclusiveness and creates relationships the right way. The everyday scenario is that students aren’t being able to find who their real friends are and most of the time are left alone to be “the losers”. Also rather than teaching and advising children on why bullying is harmful and should be avoided, it is put aside and categorized as irrelevant. No longer can we allow bullying to prioritize itself in Lebanese schools. The common thought is that excellency is only through high grades and many awards. However, many forget the more important factor which is that excellency is through creating happy memories because as long as students are smiling every day then that alone is excellency.